{Thursday, May 25, 2006}

mixture of emotions



oh freak, today was SUCKY can.
somemore last day of school.
ugh >:/



first, reaching school and learning that that that two idiots did pissed me off, ALOT.
like okay, if people are like badmouth about other people, it can be called bitching.
but seriously, its just dislike.
whereas here, its these two, two UGH.
its like these two LOSERS gang up together to bitch about their BESTFRIEND?
omg please.
this isnt dislike, this is BACKSTAB.
and BACKSTAB people, is much worse.
:/ URGH.
sorry cassandra, i HAVE to do this
;)



then we did this rice THANG
and ours was super nice (:
so i was kind of happy? :D
hahh, stupid me.



then erm, we had recess.
practised shooting :D
and out of like 10 tries, i got only half in?
oh pathetic me.
but i was happy. so ya :D



then we watched this bollywood movie.
not like the whole thing somemore.
stupid can >:/
funnily, i liked it (:
stupid indesicive guy, left because of a woman.
but didnt want to take the woman with him.
WTH? ugh >:/
guys are plain jerks
just like magneto >>:/
good thing he died anyway (:



ugh, then aft school, train the sec ones.
WTF CAN
i was damn pissed can, and VERY HURT lah.
>:/
and EVERYTHING becomes my fault.
FINE LAH, EVERYTHINGS MY FAULT LOR.
IM STUPID, I SUCK
IM FIERCE, ITS MY FAULT THAT SHE SUCKS TOO.
wtf can.
fine lah, im fierce lah, FINE LAH.
theres nothing i can do about it anyway!
i was damn pissed at her please.
she say until like she's so bloody pro like that.
like shes the bloody best, and she wont make any mistakes like that.
in fact, she doesnt know the thang at all.
of course i was pissed, she was there so confident like she's the best.
of course our expectation is high, and then she gives us some SHIT.
wtf can.
and then i scolded her for something (i forgot) then she starts crying
then EVERYTHING becomes my fault.
the fact that im fierce is my fault.
the fact that im loud is my fault
the fact that she's boastful yet she doesnt fucking know anything is my fault
the fact that i got pissed with her because i hate boastful people who actually dont know anything becomes my fault.
FINE
EVERYTHING'S MY FAULT
i am held SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR IT.
fine. happy now?
and then i got FUCKINGLY BLAMED for everything
i mean its my fault right?
so i get blamed! FINE.
it all makes sense doesnt it.
even the part where you comfort her and never realise how hurt I was.
and YOU dont even fuckingly know what is going on, and you blame me.
youre NEVER realise when people get hurt do you?
you never realise how much i wanted to just leave and never see you again.
you never realise how much i wanted to just burst out in tears.
YOURE NEVER TEND TO REALISE ALL THIS.
maybe its because i suck and no one even cares to care about me.
she can cry, you think i CANT?
fine, i was fierce, but does it all have to be MY FAULT?
you know how BLOODY HURT i was.
youre will never realise do youre.
FINE! go on, hate me
i dont give a damn anyway.
and you have HELL LOT OF REASON TO HATE ME TOO.
like how i made your BELOVED AIC CRY
like how FIERCE i am.
like how maybe one day i'll become the next __y
like how the whole world hates me too.
and seriously, i dont mind.
i hate myself too.
i think i suck big time.
and YOU think sorry can solve everything now?
let me tell you something, im HURT.
its not a joke anymore.
im hurt deep down inside, and i bet you dont even fucking care.
you think its funny? you think its FUN to scold me
you think its fun to make me cry and get hurt?
oh forget it, go to your beloved sec one.
she's better than me.
i suck, everythings my fault.
just let me cry and die.
maybe i should just be like v.hew(no offense to you whatsoever) and not care about anything.
WHAT was i thinking anyway, thinking that i can help them?
what a joke, now everyone hates me.
yeah, thats right, the price of being a busybody.
yes, thats what i am.
and seriously, its no fun being a busybody at all.
trying to help, WHO AM I KIDDING?
gawd.



oh, God.
i promised you i'll post about you if i get my wallet.
and i did.
thank you oh Lord (:
but can you help me with THIS?
i dont think anything can.
oh freak.



i feel so alone, no one to turn to.
no one to tell how i feel.
i think i need a doll, a doll i can talk to.
a doll that wont say anything out.
yes, i need a doll.
i trusted you almost like the most in this THANG.
but you were the one that cut me the most.
hurt me the most.
you made me feel so useless, so empty.
so sucky.
i suck anyway.
yeah, just leave to die and rot.
how i wish dying was that easy

[[11:01 PM;



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